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What follows is 月曜から夜ふかし ポルノ映画に出演an account of something that can, honestly, happen to anyone: getting prank called. Except in this case, the prank callers were Russian and the victim was Energy Secretary Rick Perry, who proceeded to have a 20-minute call with said pranksters over energy policy.

To repeat: a member of Trump's cabinet was pranked (twice, as it turns out) by a pair of Russians.

It's as if 2016 left a bag of dog poop on 2017's doorstep, set it on fire, and hid in the bushes while 2017 jumped up and down to put the fire out, getting dog poop on the entire world in the process.

In the video below, originally published on Russian news site Vesti, you can hear Rick Perry talk with who he thinks is Ukrainian Prime Minister Volodymyr Groysman about developing oil and gas fields in Ukraine, the decision to back out of the Paris climate agreement, and many other things.

Only that's not the Ukrainian Prime Minister speaking! It's Vladimir “Vovan” Krasnov and Alexei “Lexus” Stolyarov, who have pranked high ranking officials and celebrities like Elton John before.

According to the Washington Post, timing probably played a part in Perry getting fooled not just once, but twice.

On June 20, Perry hosted Groysman and his delegation at the Department of Energy, a meeting that was widely reported in the Ukrainian press, according to the DOE.

Three weeks later, the department received a request for a phone follow-up with the Ukrainian prime minster. That phone call was bogus. So was the lengthier call with Perry that followed on July 19.

Following the revelation that "HA HA YOU DONE GOT PUNK'D, RICK!" a spokesperson from the Department of Energy told the Post, “Secretary Perry is the latest target of two Russian pranksters. These individuals are known for pranking high level officials and celebrities, particularly those who are supportive of an agenda that is not in line with their governments. In this case, the energy security of Ukraine.”

Mashablehas reached out to both Secretary Perry and the Department of Energy for further comment.

I know we're in a new era of relations with Russians seeing as how the country had more influence in the 2016 presidential election than the citizens of Delaware with their whopping 3 electoral college votes but HOW DO A PAIR OF RUSSIAN RAPSCALLIONS GET A CABINET MEMBER ON THE PHONE? TWICE??

Granted, it doesn't sound like Perry gave away any deep, dark secrets, but still. How does this happen? And how many times have pranksters reached a sitting cabinet member before?

The whole thing gives me such a headache I want to wander the desert high on peyote for the next three-and-a-half-years because I'll at least have a head start when a guy living in Queens pretending to be Kim Jong-un manages to prank Trump and triggers World War 3.