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Cole Sprouse is ??? ??? ????? ???????officially the king of gag gifts.

The actor, who plays Jughead, our favorite troubled teen on Riverdale, showed off the gift he bestowed upon his twin brother, Dylan, this Christmas. It's an interesting choice, but the joy of it all is Dylan's befuddled reaction—a reaction you can only dream of from every person you've ever given a gift to.

In Dylan's words, "what the hell am I going to do with a huge poster of a bisected penis?"

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Cole gave him some sound advice ("Hang it. In your study.") which hopefully will be taken with the utmost seriousness.

We have a million questions: What was the inspiration behind this? Where did Cole even purchase a huge poster of a bisected penis? Does Dylan have enough wall space for it?

But the most important question was brought to light by a curious Twitter user:

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Why don'tyou have a contact picture for your brother, Cole?