Social media and,sex videos education especially, YouTube is rife with pranks—DIY ones, hidden camera stunts, pranks gone wrong and scare gags. And among the many subcategories of the online prank genre is parents pranking their own kids.
YouTubers Cole and Sav LaBrant were the latest to add to the mix, delivering to their 8.7 million subscribers an April Fools’ Day videowhere they told Sav’s six-year-old daughter Everleigh that they were giving away their pet Pomeranian, Carl.
It had been a day of pranks at the LaBrant’s, according to the video, that also involved Everleigh hiding in a suitcase and spilling water on Cole’s shirt. But Everleigh didn’t take the news about Carl well, crying and cuddling the white puff of a dog even after her parents called April Fools'.
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“Too far?” says Cole, directly into the camera. Child development experts say yes.
“The relationship that kids have with their parents is special,” said Stephanie Zerwas, a psychologist and therapist and associate professor at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. “It sets the mold for all the other relationships in their lives. Building trust between parents and kids is critical. When parents prank their kids, they erode that trust. They give the message that the people who are closest and most important to you can be unpredictable and cruel.”
‘In the wrong’
Viewers were quick to criticize the LaBrants, who apologized in a new video Wednesday. The couple said they’d been talking about an April Fools' prank on their viewers that involved giving away the dog when Everleigh overheard the discussion and thought it was real.
“This is where I think we were in the wrong,” Cole said. “We just kind of rolled with it. … That’s where we apologize, and we have apologized to Everleigh.”
“We feel like we definitely shouldn’t have uploaded it now,” Sav said.
The LaBrants are far from the first parents to face a backlash after pranking their kids. In September, an entire family was behind the intense meltdown of an 11-year-oldas they pretended she was invisible, a social media challenge inspired by Netflix’s Magic for Humans.
A couple lost custody of two children and were found guilty of child neglectafter posting YouTube videos that featured, for example, the father smashing an Xbox, which his son thought was his.
And every Halloween, Jimmy Kimmel’s Halloween candy challengeseeks videos of kids’ reactions after their parents tell them they ate all their candy. There are tears, anger and other extreme emotions. The laughs typically come from only the parents.
All about aggression
And that’s the problem with pranks and kids, said Eileen Kennedy-Moore, a psychologist and author of Kid Confidence: Help Your Child Make Friends, Build Resilience, and Develop Real Self-Esteem.
“Pranks have a level of aggression in them, and I’m not a fan, especially from parents toward kids” Kennedy-Moore said. “... That’s just not our role to deliberately cause kids to be upset for no good reason, for our entertainment.”
So, can parents have fun with their kids? Of course, experts say. Here are better ways to do it.
Remain the butt of the joke
Amy McCready, founder of Positive Parenting Solutionsand author of The 'Me, Me, Me' Epidemic: A Step-by-Step Guide to Raising Capable, Grateful Kids in an Over-Entitled World,doesn’t necessarily think our households should be prank free.
“Pranks in which the parent is the butt of the joke are fine,” McCready said. But, “if a prank could cause stress, anxiety or sadness for the child or make him feel foolish,” she added, “then don’t do it.”
Keep it silly, Kennedy-Moore recommends.
“Little kids find it hilarious if you put their socks on your ears,” she said. “That kind of goofiness is the kind of humor that we’re aiming for.”
Know your kids
Kids develop their sense of humor gradually and over time. Humor development researchshows that between the ages of 2 and 7, kids gravitate toward knock-knock jokes and slapstick. From ages 7 to 11, they begin to understand puns and satire. But, just like adults, not every child will appreciate a good prank, no matter their age.
“Even some pranks which seem totally harmless and wouldn’t cause distress might be uncomfortable with kids who are more sensitive,” McCready said. “The key is knowing how your child will react. If in doubt, say no to the prank.”
Never post it online
“I’m a big believer in protecting children’s privacy,” Kennedy-Moore said. “I don’t know anybody who, when they’re 30 and applying for a job, would like a video of them crying online. That’s failing at our stewardship of our children.”
Remember the end game
Children who grow up getting pranked turn into teenagers who prank, which can bring another set of challenges to family relationships.
“The thing to remember is that our children are little people with big feelings,” Kennedy-Moore said. “We don’t want to step on those. … One of our main jobs as parents is to teach kids how to be in a relationship. And I don’t think we want to teach them that casual cruelty is OK.”
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