Jared Kushner put on woah vicky sex videohis big boy pants yesterday and headed to the Senate to courageously testify in front of the public -- sorry, I meant: speak not under oath behind closed doors.
Monday was one of the first times anyone in America has heard Kushner speak, and boy were they treated to a show. Kushner began his brief public statement with the opening sentence: "My name is Jared Kushner," which is how I often began my penpal letters as a second grader.
The internet couldn't restrain the urge to meme.
Here's Twitter's analysis of Lil' Kushner first major public statement.
"let me be very clear: yogurt. is. too. spicy." pic.twitter.com/RqNUztcdsX
— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) July 24, 2017
"let me be very clear: spaghetti is too long. i will not eat spaghetti unless someone cuts it up for me beforehand." pic.twitter.com/JgPIa1bNLf
— Mira Gonzalez (@miragonz) July 24, 2017
Kushner looks like the president of the preppy villain frat in a movie they're playing on abc family pic.twitter.com/ZXlZLMJkt0
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) July 24, 2017
these pictures make it look like kushner was just emitting a high-pitched screech for like ten minutes straight pic.twitter.com/O0GpftEhEC
— Stefan (@boring_as_heck) July 24, 2017
"I did not collude with Pop Pop."
— Diane N. Sevenay (@Diane_7A) July 24, 2017
-- Jared Kushner pic.twitter.com/I4ZDpk2vs6
"You and your little friends will NEVER save the youth center" pic.twitter.com/IvYsDe7BhT
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) July 24, 2017
"Let me be very clear: I am not going to summer camp" pic.twitter.com/XFAQi9xEWb
— Heather Dockray (@Wear_a_helmet) July 24, 2017
"Let me be very clear: Delta House must be thrown off campus!" pic.twitter.com/K4CdThZ98R
— Tucker Cawley (@TuckerCawley1) July 25, 2017
Jared Kushner is always one futura font away from starring in a Wes Anderson movie. pic.twitter.com/UXaVrQueN4
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) July 24, 2017
"I have not sought the spotlight" pic.twitter.com/zZ3rcLnsUX
— Tom Namako (@TomNamako) July 24, 2017
when you hear Jared Kushner speak pic.twitter.com/eiwiYezp4W
— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) July 24, 2017
Let me be clear, I have not taken over for my father as the Green Goblin and I don't know who's been flying around on his glider pic.twitter.com/lApz448Dju
— Peter Schultz (@pete_schultz) July 24, 2017
"I did not collude with Russia." pic.twitter.com/2hpgG5AZkF
— J. Elvis Weinstein (@JElvisWeinstein) July 24, 2017
*Takes hit of helium from balloon*
— Brendan Hickey (@BrendanHickey9) July 24, 2017
"My name is Jared Kushner."
If Congress won't hold Kushner accountable, at least these dorks on the internet will.
Featured Video For You
Is this the new fidget spinner?