Few online trends delight me as much today as they did the first time I saw them,margaret jackson facts of life of the eroticization of women's oppression but my love for tweets that encourage people to disclose their secret crushes remains as strong as ever.
If you follow any single, comical people looking for love on Twitter, you may have seen tweets like these over the years. Oftentimes, they start with the words, "If you have a crush on me," and end with some version of, "tell me now." They're straight to the point, and they never fail to amuse me.
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The tweet format is, at its surface, a blunt and genuine invitation for potential romantic interests to reveal themselves. But it's more complex than that. The request is also a lightly veiled way to broadcast your relationship status and admit your desire to find love. The fact that you're putting out a public call for a significant other in such a lighthearted way lets people know that you're mostly poking fun at yourself, and that your hopes for actual success from the tweet aren't very high.
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The beauty of "If you have a crush on me" tweets is that they can be fired off any day of the year, but they often surge in popularity before major events like holidays, or amidst chaotic political happenings.
Some people encourage crushes to come out of hiding in the days leading up to a birthday or romance-centered occasion, like Valentine’s Day. But others save the requests until more concerning matters present themselves. On a normal day you might not feel like pouring your heart out to Twitter and begging for romantic interests to reveal themselves, but if there's talk of another world war, why not shoot your shot, right?
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While there’s definitely a level of sincerity to crush-coaxing tweets, I can’t help but find them funny. It’s clear that anyone tweeting the requests couldn’t care less what people think about their love lives, which makes them shameless in the best way. By tweeting "If anyone has a crush on me, tell me now" you’re completely owning your lack of suitors and taking charge of the situation, which is actually pretty inspiring.
Reveal yourself "before I spend my money..."
"If anyone has a crush on me tweets" vary in structure, but as people have started adding their own personal flair to the format, a common theme has emerged: Retail therapy.
In some cases, people present an ultimatum of sorts. They’ll ask for crushes to reveal themselves, then disclose that if no crushes come forward they’ll be forced to spend money on distractions — such as video games, clothes, comfort food, and even drugs or alcohol — to help mend their lonely hearts.
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The "before I spend my money" addition allows people to offer one final incentive. It lets potential crushes know that someone has love to give, sure, but also the financial resources necessary to buy a gift, pay for a date, or invest in a relationship. Before the request gets tooserious, though, you make it clear that if no one reaches out not only will you survive, you'll spend that cash on yourself.
The "keep it to yourself" crowd
While most people who use the "if you have a crush on me" prompt are searching for someone who admires them, others use the format to beg followers to keep all their crushes secret.
Whether the realization of someone having a crush on them would be too overwhelming, or they're afraid of being put in an uncomfortable or unrequited crush situation, some people tweet things like, "If you have a crush on me, now's the time to keep it to yourself."
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While these versions of the tweet are definitely lacking in the romance department, they're still funny in a "Don't you dare put one more thing on my plate" type of way.
Why are we so willing to tweet about crushes?
As a proud member of Crush Twitter, I believe that airing the occasional crush-related frustration or making light of unrequited love or lack of a significant other is a classic coping mechanism.
Being single is great, but navigating life without a special someone to share your highs and lows with can be tough — especially when you're surrounded by other people in relationships. Many choose to keep their love lives private online, but tweeting about crushes has a certain level of anonymity to it, so it lets you declare that you're thinking about love without sharing anything too personal.
In times when you're feeling particularly lonely, consider tweeting a personalized version of "If you have a crush on me, tell me now." It's funny, cathartic, and who knows, maybe you'll actually encourage someone who has a secret crush on you to slide into your DMs.