Food Standards Australia has released a warning asking consumers to step away from the fruit,creampie sex video amid fears of a salmonella outbreak amongst our fine rockmelon. Roughly 80 cases have been reported thus far and a product recall has been announced.
The official warning outlined that pregnant women, children and the elderly should take precaution with the fruit. What are the rest of us? Chopped liver that deserves to be bed ridden with a casual bout of gross bacteria?
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Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable The outbreak has reportedly been linked to a grower in the Northern Territory and the contaminated balls of juicy mush and broken dreams have been recalled after a rise in cases of salmonella across several states. The South Australian government have issued a statement essentially saying that all other states should quit their moaning, since as many as a quarter of cases have occurred in South Australia itself.
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SA Health is advising people to avoid Rockmelon, following a national outbreak of Salmonella Hvittingfoss linked to a grower in the NT.
— Patrick Murrell (@pamurrell) August 3, 2016
Rockmelon is off the menu for a while, after a national outbreak of Salmonella Hvittingfoss. An NT grower is doing a recall @abcnewsAdelaide
— Alina Eacott (@AlinaEacott) August 3, 2016
Local twitter users took the opportunity to confirm a truth universally acknowledged, that rockmelon is the worstand most disappointing of all the fruits. It is the creepy uncle at family gatherings, it is the pen that stops working when your crush asks for your number, it's filler fruit. And now, it can actually poison you.
@abcnewsMelb farcical bland rockmelon is nothing, esp in the face of incandescent glory of honeydew melon A TRUTH EVEN A CHILD COULD DISCERN
— Martin Kingsley (@martin_kingsley) August 3, 2016
@MrPhetz i guess i'll continue not eating rockmelon
— bb (@tawmcruise) August 3, 2016
Rockmelon remains the worst https://t.co/ZjZe905hlp
— suburban valium mum (@thiscassgirl) August 3, 2016
Not surprisingly, those dwelling outside the fair shores of Australia took issue mostly with the name of the ridiculous fruit.
@dailytelegraph What's a "rockmelon"?
— Al Ergeez (@theideagym) August 3, 2016
Holy shit you guys call it "rockmelon"? God I love Australians. https://t.co/nfmlKyPI6k
— Jennifer Williams (@jenn_ruth) August 3, 2016
What would you prefer we call it? A cantaloupe -- the weird hybrid of "can't" and "elope?" The fruit looks like a weird lumpy rock okay, we call it how we see it.
Rockmelons have been linked to salmonella outbreaks in the past, most memorably in the '50s, '60s, and 2002 in the U.S.
Can we just throw rockmelon into the fire now?