Today's the day to spend a ton of money on older and younger threesome sex videosthings you didn't even know you needed under the presumption you're getting a great deal.
Yep, you guessed it -- it's Amazon Prime Day!
You may be looking to buy the latest tech gadgets or some top-brand beauty products, but we think we've found some items that you absolutely musthave.
At first glance you'll think you definitely don't need these things, but before you know it, you'll be asking Alexa to add them to your cart.
Here are the weirdest, most wonderful, deals we've found on Amazon Prime Day thus far.
GloFX Black Kaleidoscope Glasses- Rainbow Rave Prism Diffraction
Ever wish your vision looked like this?
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Well, you're in luck!
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable You can get these cool kaleidoscope glasses for just $12.77.
The description of the lenses says they'll "make your eyes perform optical aerobics while you swim through a galaxy of polychromatic color." Now, tell me that doesn't sound great. Go get 'em!
Too Much Glue
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Here's one for the kids.
Jason Lefebvre's classic Too Much Glueis soon to be your kid's favorite bedtime story. This tragic tale about what happens when a curious boy named Matty uses way too much glue, belly flops into the glue pile, and gets stuck to his desk will bring a tear to your eye, and teach lessons you've never thought you had to teach your kids about glue usage.
Very educational for only $10.05.
KritterWorld Pet Dog Cat Puppy Kitten Microplush Sherpa Snuggle Blanket for Couch, Car, Trunk, Cage, Kennel, Dog House, 45" x 30"
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable This is the onlyblanket your dog can use.
You cannot, I repeat, CANNOT just throw a regular blanket for humans on your dog. Bad things will happen. You must pay $17.89 for this special dog blanket instead of just using a blanket you already have.
You've been warned.
$2 Bill 22k Gold Layered
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Hang this special gold plated $2 bill in your home, and be the envy of all your friends.
With a 4.5 star rating, this thing will literally pay for itself. Someday this bill might be worth $3. What a steal.
Men's Elegant Designed One Button Paper Floral Printed Tux Blazer
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Oh, WOW.
This men's blazer that looks like a newspaper is, as advertised, the epitome or elegance. But if the news just isn't your thing, you can also buy the same jacket in other designs: saxophones, people wearing cool hats, and animal hides.
So stylish.
Ultimate Flames by Magical Flames: Color Your Fire! Now 35% bigger and better!
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Add a little bit of fun to your next campfire with these pouches that produce rainbow-colored flames.
What looks like a spicy snack, Ultimate Flameswill bring you the joy you never knew you could experience while hanging out in your backyard. It's just the thing you need!
Warning: do not cook stuff over these cool flames. Wouldn't want you wasting those precious marshmallows.
Chia Hillary Clinton Freedom of Choice Pottery Planter
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Chia pets are back with a vengeance, giving your favorite, or least favorite, politicians green, grassy afros.
For only $10.24, you can dab some seeds on Hillary's head, and watch her sprout a new hairdo everyone will undoubtedly have opinions about.
Play Tailor Mermaid Tail Swimmable Costume Swimsuit for Girls Swimming (No monofin)
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Mermaids are sooo in right now, and now you too could join in on the trend everyone's talking about.
Lie around the house in your mermaid tail. Go out for drinks with friends. Take a dip in the pool and live out the life you've always dreamt of having.
For only $31.99, we're wondering why we haven't bought three for ourselves yet.
FAB Starpoint Girls' Emoji Rainbow 17-Inch Backpack with Headphones (Color May vary)
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable The only thing cooler than mermaids are emoji. So, this emoji backpack has our name written all over it.
But wait, THERE'S MORE. This awesome backpack comes with FREE headphones! FREE. Why free? We don't know, and we don't care.
All we know is, this is going in our cart ASAP.
PAWZ Road Cat Sleeping Bag Self-Warming Kitty Sack 20"22"
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Can't leave our kitty friends out of all the great Amazon Prime Day deals.
Because your cat needs one more place to be lazy, this kitten sleeping bag will surely keep your little critter comfortable and not claustrophobic in the least bit.
I mean, look how much fun that cat in the picture is having.
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable We couldn't dream of a better way to spend our money.
William Mark- Feisty Pets: Sammy Suckerpunch- Adorable 8.5" Plush Stuffed Dog That Turns Feisty With A Squeeze
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable If you thought Furbies were evil, take a look at this thing.
This plush stuffed dog named Sammy looks innocent at first, but give him one squeeze behind the ears and he turns literally evil.
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable For $22.99, it's great fun for the kids!
126 Polyhedral Dice - 18 colors w/ Complete set of d4 d6 d8 d10 d12 d20 d%
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable You can never have too many dice, but 126 might be the magic number.
If you find yourself constantly losing your 6+ sided dice while playing your favorite board game, fear no more. For the great deal of $16.89, get 126 dice in all your favorite colors.
If you lose all of these, you have a problem.
Death Wish Ground Coffee Bundle Deal, The World's Strongest Coffee, Fair Trade and USDA Certified Organic - 2 lb
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable "Death Wish Coffee" claims to be the world's strongest coffee with double the amount of caffeine of a standard cup of Joe.
Here's part of a review left by a customer documenting what happened after he drank this coffee:
In the five days hence, I have had to shave ten times, my shirts ill fit, and my friends do not recognize me for my rippling Adonis-like physique. I hold three full time jobs, have built two homes with my bear hands (indeed, almost more claw and hair than actual hand, truly these are the paws of a great feral beast with which I share this message), and have sired a dozen children...
Thank you, Death Wish coffee. Thank you for making me all I could be, and all I should not.
Good enough for us. Also, we're always willing to try anything with "death" in the name.
Trolli Large Sour Brite Crawlers Gummi Candy Worms, 5lb Bulk Bag
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Yes! This is what Amazon Prime Day is about. Candy in bulk!
We can't wait to buy this FIVE POUND bag of Trolli gummy worms and attempt to eat them all in one sitting.
What an investment.
Pheromones For Men Pheromone Cologne Oil
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Men, if there was ever a perfect product for you, this is it.
For only $19.20, you can have anywoman in the world if you just dab some of this Pheromone Cologne that is PROVEN to attract women and "appeal to their sexual receptors." What. A. Product.
Who knew wooing women was so easy, am I right?
Happy shopping!
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