The gay tongue sex videosinternet was different in 2010 to 2014. We didn't think about things like cringe— my brother, everything was cringe. We were doing online quizzes about which Hogwarts house we belonged in and it was groundbreaking stuff.
Food culture online was different back then, too. Basically it could be summed up by the phrase epic bacon. To wit: A decade ago, the biggest thing going was the YouTube channel Epic Meal Time, which would make stupidly massive foodstuffs often centered on, or propped up by, a staggering amount of bacon strips.
SEE ALSO: What's up with all the meat scents?The KFC Double Down — a fried chicken sandwich where two slabs of chicken serve as the "buns" — was very much ofthat moment. It was a fried chicken sandwich composed of only fried chicken, cheese, bacon, and mayo. AKA it was sans bread. It was gluttonous, delicious, and kind of gross, all in one. And now the Double Down is back after a nine-year hiatus.
KFC announced that it would re-release the sandwich for just four weeks, starting March 6. KFC sent along a sample sandwich ahead of the release date and we gave it a whirl. As Mashable's Chief Trash Food Correspondent, it was my duty to review this Frankenstein of fried chicken and I took my job very seriously.
Fun fact: You know what else was different back in 2010 to 2014? Me. I was a young man with the appetite and metabolism to match. I could scarf a Double Down then go play pickup basketball for two hours without blowing chunks. Now, as a grown man with graying hair, I could only power through about one-third to one-half of a Double Down. Two fried chicken breasts, a big glob of mayo, cheese, and bacon strips does not make for a good working lunch. I chomped it down then stared into the middle distance, questioning how my life had led me to this point. I mean, look at this honker.
That is a large, very chickeny "sandwich." Credit: Mashable / Tim Marcin As for the taste, it's not bad. I hadn't had KFC in years and, you know what? The chicken was crispy while remaining juicy. Sure, it was over-salted but it's fast food, that's the whole point. I don't mind mayo, but I could have dealt with less of it. There were a few bites where the mayo overtook every other flavor. The bacon was thin but fine. The cheese was warm, but more limp than melty. All-in-all, it's hard for the sandwich to be bad.It's fried chicken. Fried chicken kicks ass.
But it is, of course, wildly impractical. The proportions are all off. It's a chore to eat. Your fingers are immediately greasy. You basically have to grip the damn thing tight to keep it all together, which means the wonderful breading is going to slime your hands with grease. Maybe the carnivore diet people around today will get into it, but it's probably not going to be the go-to sandwich for the general public. This is the sort of a thing a college kid should eat after far too many light beers.
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Would a normal chicken sandwich be better? Of course. Bread would contain the ingredients, soak up the grease, and evenly distribute the mayo. Bread would also add a bit of textural difference and make the sandwich easier to eat.
But, alas, the Double Down is not built for practicality. It's gorgeous 2010s stunt food. It's epic bacon, baby, and on that, it sure as hell still delivers.