This post is sex video with climaxpart ofHard Refresh, a soothing weekly column where we try to cleanse your brain of whatever terrible thing you just witnessed on Twitter.
If power-washing porn is your cup of tea, then historic painting conservation is going to be your new relaxation destination.
When I need to unwind, I turn to the highly educational and surprisingly calming YouTube genre, popularized online by conservationist Julian Baumgartner. (Baumgartner is the most popular YouTube conservationist, which is an admittedly small community to begin with.)
This is the video that made me a fan:
In general, we can break painting conservation into a few major steps. The process varies depending on the extent of the damage and the piece's needs, but Baumgartner usually follows the same playbook.
First he evaluates the painting's condition and what type of paint the artist used, so he can be sure chemicals won't harm the original work. After that, he often needs to remount the painting onto a new canvas or surface to ensure the painting is strong enough to be handled. Next comes the cleaning process, where layers of dirt and buildup are oh-so-satisfyingly removed. Finally, retouching: parts of the work that are lost or damaged are repainted.
Baumgartner mixes chemicals and solvents to take off the mixture of varnish and grime that has accumulated -- sometimes over hundreds of years. It's a delicate process that is both disgusting and immensely gratifying.
In the video below, Baumgartner is tasked with removing an oil painting on paper from the piece of wood to which it's adhered. He chisels all the wood away until just a thin layer is left, then removes that layer using a scalpel. It's a bit like watching a surgery, but with none of the gross bits for people who are squeamish.
Baumgartner also narrates quite a few of his videos. His voice is even and mellow, which suits the steady pacing. It’s also nice to know exactly what's going into the process -- especially one that's so unfamiliar to most people.
Most of the videos don’t stick to the same auditory scheme either. Some of his videos are borderline ASMR, in which the sounds of the cleaning, repairing, and painting are front and center. Like in this video:
In some videos, he takes the musical approach, pairing his work with classical compositions. Personally, I find this method to be so soothing that I've nearly fallen asleep to it. If that sounds up your alley, check this video out:
At this point, I've spent several hours watching these videos and frankly, I've learned a lot. I now know the importance of reversible paints (so future conservators can take off the past conservation jobs without harming the original painting), and that B72 resin is paramount for stabilizing wood and other surfaces the paint sits on.
And I'm clearly not the only one who's a fan. In December of last year, Baumgartner won a YouTube Creator's Silver Award for surpassing 100,000 subscribers, and in true conservationist and YouTuber fashion, he made an unboxing video.
While these videos are very pleasing and will make you feel like an expert, just remember that Baumgartner is a professional. Please don't try these methods on your own priceless antique paintings (that you have). The chemicals used are very dangerous and you would likely turn your paintings into mush without the proper training.
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