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Live by the Twitter feed,??? ??? ??? ??? ?? die by the Twitter feed.

Each week, I gain knowledge. Sure, it might be the fact that nobody else checks their voicemails or what the alleged main ingredient is in a Werther's candy. But it's knowledge nonetheless. They say our Twitter feeds are a reflection of our brains. And by "they" I mean "I."

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With that being said, here are the 14 best tweets I saw this week. No, I know. I shouldn't have. But I did.

1. Math? Nah. Math humor? Sure.

2. Never in my (relatively) young stoner life have I come across anything as relatable as this tweet.

3. Suddenly, my appetite for Red Lobster is no longer.

4. The last time I checked my voicemail? It's been 84 years...

5. Is this what you'd call a Swiftian slip?

6. So that's why grandmas are obsessed with them!

7. I'm not sure how to tell you this, but I've watched Dolly Parton sing "I wish I had a nickel" over 19 times this week.

8. Only true Pirate-heads will relate.

9. Comparing your leftovers to a picture of Anna Nicole Smith and Jennifer Coolidge? Camp.

10. Honestly, I haven't slept since Kim Kardashian tweeted at Jack in the Box. WHAT WAS HER COMPLAINT? Sigh. I guess we'll never know.

11. Neo was ahead of his time.

12. Please forward this still to every film professor you know.

SEE ALSO: 'Snitty' is Twitter's word of the day after Bill Barr's Senate testimony

13. What goes up, must come ...

14. Don't ask me why, but Trisha Paytas being compared to delivered packages makes sense.

It's 2019 and content is king. We need it to survive, really. Our hunger for silly sentiments expressed in 137 characters is relentless. Thankfully, we have Twitter to feed us.

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