According to some Hollywood directors,woman making her sex slave fuck his tinny daughter videos innovative cinema is breathing its last, but a look at the history of Disney Channel’s rich original film roster will tell you differently. From the late ‘90s through at least the early-aughts, Disney Channel was a veritable hotbed of TV movies so eccentric that you wonder which ideas didn’tmake it to production — if any at all.
To celebrate the launch of Disney+ and our sudden access to the glorious library of DCOMs, we sorted the greatest hits into categories and subcategories to figure out what the heck was going on all those years.
MAGIC AND MONSTERS
There's no shortage of movies about witches, werewolves, or St. Nick himself, but you can bet that Disney Channel wasn't going to enter into that arena without some solidly batshit ideas.
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Halloween Hits
Via GiphyMom’s got a Date with a Vampire: When Taylor’s mom goes out with a man online, he and his sister find out it’s a vampire and set out to save their family.
Halloweentown: Halloween-obsessed Marnee learns that she’s descended from witches in the parallel world of Halloweentown, where a mysterious force threatens life as they know it.
Twitches: Estranged twin sisters reunite and learn that they are also witches from another world.
Descendants: Fairy tale characters' children attend prep school in the kingdom of Auradon.
16 Wishes:Lifelong dreamer Abbie finds her life's many wishes start coming true on her 16th birthday.
Santa?!?!
The Ultimate Christmas Present: Two girls accidentally steal Santa’s weather machine, and instead of a cheerful Christmas snowfall, cause a massive storm that could definitely land them on the Naughty list.
'Twas the Night: A boy and his quirky uncle accidentally steal Santa’s sleigh.
Something strange is in my backyard and whoops, it's my best friend whom I must hide
Don’t Look Under the Bed: Frances finds herself haunted by something that all signs point to being the Boogeyman.
Under Wraps: Three middle schoolers find and befriend a mummy who’s just looking for his girlfriend.
Scenes from a hat (these defy genre)
Via GiphyThe Thirteenth Year: A middle-school swim champion starts turning into a merman on his thirteenth birthday.
Stepsister from Planet Weird: Megan’s new stepdad and his daughter turn out to be royal aliens from a planet where everyone is bubbles and they fear the wind.
The Luck of the Irish: A high-school basketball star finds out that his family is not only Irish, but leprechauns, and must fight to save their gold.
Wendy Wu: Homecoming Warrior: A high school girl at the top of her game finds out that she’s a reincarnated Chinese warrior with a history, enemy, and fated battle.
SPORTS 'N SUCH
Whether you were actually athletically inclined or just an Air Budaficionado, many millennial/Gen Z cuspers gained an impressive amount of sports knowledge from DCOMs and the like. I knew the exact significance of a 7-10 split in bowling before I had so much as sunk a gutter ball at a birthday party, and we have the House of Mouse to thank for that.
Women?!
Cadet Kelly: When her mother marries a military men, a privileged New Yorker has to fit in at military school and finds solace in the drill team.
Motocrossed: A girl pretends to be her brother so he can stay in a racing competition even after injuring himself.
Right on Track: Two sisters take up drag racing and have to work doubly hard to prove themselves in a male-dominated sport.
Rip Girls: Sydney returns to her birthplace of Hawaii to explore inherited land and learn the ropes of surfing — as well as the truth about her mother’s death.
Double Teamed: Identical twin sisters join their high school basketball team and find themselves on a path to playing pro.
Gotta Kick It Up!: A new high school teacher begrudgingly oversees the struggling dance team, with both children and adults learning from each other as the team strives for success.
Is this a West Side Story reboot?
Via GiphyBrink!: A bunch of high-school skaters try to resist the lure of corporate sponsorship and also the douchey team they associate with that life.
Johnny Tsunami: A teen must adjust after leaving his beloved home of Hawaii, and channels his love of surfing into snowboarding.
Alley Cats Strike: A competition between two neighboring towns comes down to bowling.
REAL LIFE BUT KOOKY
Not all movies need off-kilter sports and futuristic tech. Some are just real life with a twist, whether that's music, hijinks, or a particularly spirited small dog.
Radio Disney Needs a Hit
Via GiphyHigh School Musical: It’s ... that’s the movie. The title is the movie.
The Cheetah Girls: Four high school freshmen form a singing group and deal with the promise and perils of success.
Camp Rock: While working in the kitchens at a summer music camp, a girl’s voice catches the attention of a visiting pop star.
Lemonade Mouth:A high school band enters a music competition and channels the energy into their personal lives.
Teen Beach Movie: A meta take on the Disney musical featuring a bunch of surfers who end up at a musical beach rager.
What if cops, but kids
Get a Clue: An entitled metropolitan high schooler (Lindsay Lohan!) investigates her teacher’s disappearance, feeling guilty that she published photos of the teacher in the school’s gossip column.
Phantom of the Megaplex: A series of mishaps on the night of a big movie premiere turn out to be the work of a saboteur.
Regarding the Bourgeoisie
Via GiphyHorse Sense: A spoilt L.A. bro is sent to his aunt’s ranch in Montana as a character-building exercise.
Princess Protection Program: Like witness protection, but for princesses! The film’s royal subject and her host become odd-couple friends as they try to understand each other.
Stuck in the Suburbs: Brittany and her friends end up with the personal device of a national pop sensation who happens to be in town.
Thank God That’s Not My Life
Quints: A teen girl’s life is turned upside down when her parents have not one but five new babies.
Hounded: A student accidentally kidnaps his principal's beloved and vicious Pomeranian.
Jumping Ship: In the Horse Sensesequel, two cousins find their vacation seized by pirates.
TWEENS IN STEM
When Disney Channel movies kicked off in the late 1990s, technology and the internet were still far enough removed from our daily lives to feel like something — well, out of a movie. That much may have changed, but we'll never tire of imagining the tech and science in this movies.
Black Mirror, but we didn’t call it that
Via GiphyZenon: Girl of the 21st Century: A girl growing up on a space station in 2049 finds her home threatened by a virus.
Pixel Perfect: A young musician invents a holographic singer for his band, but she grows sentient.
Smart House: A “home of the future” gets attached to its inhabitants.
How to Build a Better Boy: Two teens invent a robotic boyfriend. What could go wrong?
That’s not how science works
Up, Up and Away: Scott pretends to have superpowers to fit in with the rest of his family, and ends up entangled with a group of alleged environmentalists testing out mind control software.
The Other Me: A boy accidentally clones himself in a science project gone awry.
Genius: Charlie lives a double life as a cool teen and a science prodigy, all of which converge at the hockey arena where he’s working on a powerful particle accelerator.
The Poof Point: An experiment gone wrong causes two scientists to age in reverse, hurtling toward the point at which they will cease to exist.
SRS BSNS
Some DCOMs abandoned all pretense of escapism and just got extremely real, including commentary on race relations, the environment, disability, and even 9/11. Okay then!!
The Color of Friendship: A black family in D.C. welcomes a foreign exchange student who turns out to be a white South African during apartheid.
Tiger Cruise: Life aboard a naval carrier is business as usual until news reaches of Sept. 11.
Tru Confessions: Aspiring filmmaker Tru makes a documentary about her family, focusing on her twin brother who is on the spectrum.
The Jennie Project: A scientist’s family bonds with a chimpanzee who uses American Sign Language, but they cannot stay together.
Miracle in Lane 2: A boy in a wheelchair takes up soapbox racing with the help of his family and athletic brother.
All of these film are now streaming on Disney+.
Topics Disney+