"Mr. Peanut" has "died,squirting girl video sex" according to the Planters mascot's official Twitter account.
The sentient legume's demise is part of a Super Bowl ad campaign, according to AdAge, which began with a video of Mr. Peanut sacrificing himself to save his friends Wesley Snipes and Matt Walsh in the wake of a harrowing Nutmobile accident.
His funeral will reportedly air during the third quarter of the game.
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On Twitter, reactions to the nut's death were, unfortunately, mostly positive. The official platform of brain worms has never handled weird brand tweets particularly well — people tend to either play gleefully into the brand's strategy or get way meaner than a probably-beleaguered social media manager deserves — but Mr. Peanut is already divisive.
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Last December, for example, MEL Magazine published a story painting the nut (accurately) as an aristocratic, capitalist war criminal who profits from the death of his own kind. He doesn't just profit, either: There are multiple images of him eating peanuts himself. God!
It's perhaps for this reason, along with a deep-seated distaste for brand posts in general, that so many people want Mr. Peanut to be in hell.
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Let's think about this logically, though. At Mr. Peanut's funeral, his corpse will probably be buried in the ground. From the ground, we imagine, will grow a new peanut. A cute baby peanut or something. Don't worry: No brand would let 104 years of rocky marketing die that easily.