To celebrate reaching the end of this year,jr eroticism we asked our reporters to look back on 2019 and pick one thing they thought stood out from the rest of the cultural chaos and cursed images. You can find the complete selection of our choices here.
The earth is 4,500,000,000 years old, give or take a few million. For 4,499,999,999 of those years were missing the one key element to make them worthwhile: the Popeyes chicken sandwich.
It hit us like a flavor wave during an otherwise ordinary week in the middle of August. On Aug. 12, Popeyes unleashed its first-ever fried chicken sandwich upon the world to a glowing response. But things didn't get real interesting until a week later, when a certain popular fast food chain took a subtle jab at the new sammy.
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Some people just can't handle change. Or should I say, progress? Popeyes then countered with a cheeky response of their own.
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Narrator: They were not "good."
The food chains were pressed harder than a piece of fried chicken between two buttery buns. The Great Chicken Sandwich War of 2019 was only just beginning to heat up.
Soon after, other fast food chains entered the ring, armed with chicken sandwiches of their own.
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The masses promptly booted Shake Shack from the battle. Burger King mostly stuck to their burgers, but took a shot anyway, to no avail. Boston Market was high off their asses for getting involved in the first place. And Wendy's went down in a fiery blaze when Popeyes positively incinerated them on social media, and then torched them again for good measure.
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Boston market limped back into the arena. Still not understanding the point of the fight, they took yet another swing at a group of giants who refused to even acknowledge their existence.
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Legend has it Boston Market took such a big L that they don't know what else to do except continue picking fights with other fast food chains on social media, only to be left out in the cold, ignored.
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There was a subsequent pop culture eruption of Popeyes chicken sandwich love, and for a short time, there was peace.
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The smoke had finally cleared, and it was Popeyes who emerged victorious from the Twitter battle. But little did they know that as they dusted the spices off their armor and celebrated their success, new developments were lurking just over the horizon.
On Aug. 27, at 4:11 p.m., Popeyes announced they were completely out of chicken sandwiches.
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After two weeks of fast food internet brutality, and a very brief period of joy and tranquility, Popeyes plunged us all back into hysteria — the whiplash from which we're not sure we've fully recovered.
Of course they tried to remedy the situation. They let customers bring their own buns to make sandwiches with chicken tenders instead, but this was a bigger problem than that. This was not a paper cut, and Popeyes would learn that you can't cover a gash with a Band-Aid and hope it heals.
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It became clear there was only one solution. But Popeyes was going to need time — time the insatiable public would barely be able to endure.
Over two months passed with no news on the chicken sandwich. Popeyes tried passing the time with sauce reveals, apple pie pics, and tweets that literally read "Mmmmmmmm…Cajun fries..." All were decidedly ineffective distractions that did little to phase the public's newfound chicken sandwich tunnel vision. They were dangerously close to becoming the final victims of their own prosperity. And then, they tweeted once more...
After a two months , Popeyes dropped a bombshell that would secure their permanent triumph. The chicken sandwich would return on a Sunday — a not so subtle dig at Chik-fil-A.
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Popeyes stans and chicken sandwich lovers were all able to sleep a little better at night with the return of the Popeyes chicken sandwich only a week away. We finally had the hope we needed to make it through.
The dwindling days of the 2019 chicken sandwich drought played out over Halloween, where the chicken sandwich still, somehow, had presence. People dressed in chicken sandwich costumesto keep themselves warm on those cold, chicken sandwich-less autumn nights.
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Finally, at long last, it was Nov. 3, a Sunday. The sandwich that had driven America to the fun end of crazytown was here to stay.
Popeyes has relatively sustained the droves of customers and lines out the door that were present at sandwich launch (and relaunch). Even deep into December, you can't go into a Popeyes expecting to get a chicken sandwich in less than a half hour, which we can only imagine has more to do with chicky sammy popularity than anything else.
The Popeyes chicken sandwich is now a certified cultural phenomenon — a culinary heavyweight champion that stepped into the fast food arena and wrecked every sandwich in sight. The Twitter beatdown was an event in and of itself, but the sandwich has gone beyond its 15 minutes of fame and maintained its momentum well beyond the aftermath. It's food. It's fashion. It's SNL famous for fuck's sake.
America came to a chicken sandwich crossroad this past year. While you can still find a few differing opinions out there, Popeyes rules the current moment and shows no sign of slowing down.
It's difficult to know exactly what sparked the internet fire over a seemingly insignificant fast food menu item. One would think you'd need more than fantastic flavor to make that happen. Apparently, we underestimated The Sandwich at every turn.
The Popeyes social media squad struck while the iron was hot and played the internet like a violin, using the country's obsession with social media to its advantage. But maybe America was in desperate need of a chicken sandwich that didn't carry a history of anti-queer baggage, and Popeyes showed up, a knight in shining orange armor.
Maybe it's just that good.
We may never know exactly, but for whatever reason, the chicken sandwich dominated 2019 in ways we never knew a chicken sandwich could. We lived through the battle. We tasted victory, and then defeat, and then victory once more.
The earth is 4.5 billion years old, and yet it wasn't until this year that we decided to live. Welcome to year 1: The year of the chicken sandwich.