Greta Gerwig's Barbiehas gifted us with some truly memorable Barbies — and teen brother and sister sex videosKens.
Take Ryan Gosling's Ken, for example. He's a horse-loving, guitar-strumming, ballad-belting sidekick who only has eyes for Stereotypical Barbie (Margot Robbie). But what if another Barbie caught his eye? Seems impossible, right? However, one behind-the-scenes photo has spun my Barbie world on its Barbie head and sent me down a wormhole of conspiracy theories. So put on your limited edition Barbie tinfoil hats, and join me, won't you?
SEE ALSO: Everything you need to know about 'Barbie'It all began with a delightful behind-the-scenes photo of Gerwig directing a scene at Barbie's DreamHouse (sorry, Ken's Mojo Dojo Casa House). The photo is classic Gerwig goodness, calling to mind the video where she enthusiastically directs Saoirse Ronan and Lucas Hedges in Lady Bird.
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Greta Gerwig directing "Barbie." Credit: Jaap Buitendijk But wait, what's going on in the scene itself? Computer, enhance!
What is happening? Credit: Jaap Buitendijk Why is Ken lying in Weird Barbie's (Kate McKinnon) lap as they lounge peacefully in Barbie's pool? Was this a part of a cut subplot involving a romance between Barbieland's most eligible bachelor and its edgiest Barbie? Did Weird Barbie get to see the "nude blob" of Ken's that she fantasized about?
As much as I love the unexpected nature of this pairing, I have a potentially more realistic theory. Given that Ken is wearing his lightning pants here, it's clear he's in his "bad Ken" era, where he's brought patriarchy to Barbieland and proclaimed it a Kendom instead. Crucially, part of the Barbies' final plan to overthrow the Kendom involves distracting various Kens so they can deprogram other Barbies. These distractions include asking about everything from finance to The Godfather, all of which are sure to get Kens talking for a long, long time.
In the film, Hari Nef's Barbie distracts Gosling Ken with a trick right out of the She's All That handbook. She dons a pair of glasses and wonders if she'll ever look pretty (all while looking gorgeous anyway). Ken swoops in to the rescue, stopping his all-important mechanic work on a car to remove the glasses and show Barbie her true beauty. But what if Weird Barbie also distracted Ken in a different scene? Perhaps she pretended she couldn't swim so Ken could provide her with a pool float, or maybe she asked him to talk at length about Zack Snyder's Justice Leaguewhile chilling out in the pool. Either way, I'm guessing this scene has more to do with Weird Barbie distracting Ken than it does with the two engaging in romance.
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But hey, now that Ken is self-actualized and no longer yearning after his Barbie, maybe these two could give a relationship a go? Stranger things have happened in Barbieland.
Barbie is now in theaters.
Topics Film