Britain is sex and candy lyrics videopoised to leave the European Union in just a few weeks' time after a few false starts.
Brexit is finally going to happen on Jan. 31 (though we'll believe it when we see it) and it's safe to say most of us are sick to the back teeth of hearing about the a six-letter B word. A word of warning: If you're no fan of alliteration, might I suggest you avert your eyes?
The UK Prime Minister — another B word we've heard far too much about — Boris Johnson is banging on about plan that'll let Brits "bung a bob for a Big Ben bong." That's a lot of Bs — and yet, not one of them is Brexit.
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In an interview with the BBC on Tuesday, the prime minister said, "The bongs cost £500,000....but we're working up a plan so that people can bung a bob for Big Ben bong." So, what does that ridiculous sentence mean? The UK government is crowdfunding half a million pounds so that a giant bell within London landmark Big Ben can make a sound.
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If you've never heard the phrase "bung a bob," firstly congrats. Secondly, a "bob" is a slang word for a pound. Big Ben is the name of the 13.5 tonne bell in Elizabeth Tower, the iconic clock tower in the Palace of Westminster. A "Big Ben bong" in non-alliterative normal speak, is simply the loud noise that the bell makes. Seemingly, people want this resonant tone to sound when the UK finally ejects itself from the EU.
Trouble is, Big Ben is currently undergoing a £29 million renovation to fix some pretty serious issues. At the time of the renovations starting back in 2016, experts warned that if the work wasn't carried out "there is a high risk that the clock will fail."
Why can't the government cough up the money for this utterly meaningless act of symbolism? Well, given the latest estimate for the UK's Brexit divorce bill stands at around £33 billion, they probably can't justifying spending half a milly on something as useless as this.
I won't lie, this doesn't sound like a good investment. Put your wallets away, folks.